Followers

Custom Search

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Lesson 5: Ultimate Alpha Fat Burning Method

This method is gonna make you repeatedly smash your forehead against things until you die, it's THAT great.

Let's say you have plans with this girl/guy/animal/hallucination and you know you're gonna be taking your shirt off. Let's say you have plans to go to the pool. Let's say you have any kind of plan that involves you shedding some clothing. Let's say let's say let's say, anyways, this is when this method comes in handy.
You have some fat on your body you want to get rid of quick, and you want it gone as soon as possible?
This is your guide.

1. Make sure you're alone with no one to disturb you.
2. Sit down, take a few breaths, breathe into your stomach, hold, release.
3. Do step two for about one minute.
4. Turn on a song that makes you feel pumped, or a song that makes you feel like you're the last hope of mankind.
5. Max out the volume.
6. Find a big open area.
7. Let loose. Flail your arms, shadowbox, do some crunches, go WILD. EMBRACE YOUR ANIMAL INSTINCT. FORGET EVERYTHING YOU KNOW ABOUT BEING A HUMAN. FOR NOW YOU ARE A FEROCIOUS BALL OF CHAOS EXPENDING EVERYTHING YOU HAVE IN YOU. TAKE IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL, GO EXTREME. DON'T BREAK ANYTHING. JUST GO ABSOLUTELY NUTS. DON'T LET ANYTHING HOLD YOU BACK. YOU ARE A BIG BALL OF CHAOS AND ENERGY. KEEP MOVING, KEEP SWINGING, KEEP TWITCHING, KEEP BOUNCING, KEEP BEING THIS ELECTRIFYING SURGE OF AHHHH. DON'T STOP UNTIL YOU ARE GASPING FOR AIR. KEEP GOING UNTIL THE SONG IS OVER.
8. Give yourself five minutes to relax, drink two glasses of water.
9. Repeat

I am absolutely serious about this. Not only do you increase your reflex speeds, your muscle memory, your cardio, your conditioning, but you also increase your alpha. I do this method usually everyday, multiple times.
You can either sit there and disbelieve, or you can can take action and become closer to your inner alpha.

1 comment:

  1. Hot Shapers Belt in Pakistan are normal fitness attire which have been intended with Neotex smart textile skill helps your body to be slim and smart by growing core temperature helping your body sweat and sweat more while wearing them during daily actions Telebrand Hot Shapers Belt in Lahore.
    hot belt price in Pakistan

    ReplyDelete